Tried and Proven

Back in the 1980s, when we were living in Haiti, someone gave us a gift of two knives from Chicago Cutlery. They were the fanciest knives we've ever had. The steel is strong and the handles are made of black walnut. Black walnut has a chemical in it that make the wood resistant to rotting.

Still, time and humid climates managed to do a number on them, and last year, while we were still in Thailand, I ended up filling in the gaps in the handles with epoxy. The steel is still good and I didn't want to waste them.

Back in 2020, when were stuck in the US because of COVID, we were staying at a place that didn't have decent knives. So I bought a pair like we had back in Thailand. We didn't use them much, and then we put them in storage when we returned to Thailand. But now we have come back from Thailand and we brought our old knives with us because we like them so much. They are worn to a nice thin and pointy shape that is quite handy. The new ones are still nicely wrapped up and sitting in a drawer for now.

Old Knives: Worn But Still Strong

When something is built well, it lasts for a long time, even though it may be frequently subjected to a lot of hard use.

This reminds me of what our faith is supposed to be like. Some people show an interest in Jesus, but when trials come, they fall away quickly. Jesus alludes to this in the parable of the sower:

²⁰As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, ²¹yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. (Matthew 13:20–21 ESV)

Peter alludes to this as well, he writes:

⁶In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, ⁷so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. (1 Peter 1:6–7 ESV)

Like these knives, our bodies have become a bit worn with age. But by God's grace and a little epoxy from the Holy Spirit, we can still remain sharp and functional.

God, by your Holy Spirit help me not to fall away when trials come. May I maintain my edge, like a good knife, over a long period of time, so that You would be glorified in my life till the very end.

Say Yes to God and Trust Him for the Results

Last Sunday I preached at Vinewood Church in Lodi, CA. I don't preach very often, I usually prefer more dialog when I do Bible teaching. I may have preached a couple of times in Thailand, but I think the last time I preached in the US was back in 2013. Still, this was a very difficult message to prepare, because in the message I go over a lot of significant events in my life. And while some of those events were extreme lows, that is not what made it difficult. It was difficult because it was a very emotional process to put it together. One reason was that it caused me to be homesick for Thailand. But also, in thinking through all these things, I could see the hand of God. Kind of like when Joseph was responding to his brothers in Genesis 50:20 (LEB). As for you, you planned evil against me, but God planned it for good, in order to do this—to keep many people alive—as it is today.

You can watch the message online here, or by clicking on the photo. But I also have the text, at least as I intended to preach, below. The text contains a few things I missed when I preached. But also, due to time constraints, I left out the story of Victor. I include it here because of the redemptive nature of the story.

Preaching in Lodi

On September 1^st, Ingrid and I took our 6 suitcases and guitar and two carry-on bags, and headed to the airport in Bangkok, Thailand. Thailand: our home of the past 12 years. Now if you look at the wrinkles on my face and the color of my hair, if you can find any, and do a little math, you can figure that we weren’t spring chickens when we went to Thailand in order to serve as “missionaries” or, as the trendy term is now “global workers". This is the story about how it came about that we did such a thing—it certainly wasn’t the typical life of most of our contemporaries.

Often, when people think how one might be called to be a missionary, they might point to the Great Commission. ¹⁹Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:19, 20 ESV)

Or, to paraphrase: go to all the people groups of the world and make disciples. How? By baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit and by teaching them to do the things I’ve taught you. But don’t worry, my Holy Spirit will be with you until such time as I come back.

Or perhaps they might point to the words of Paul:

¹⁴How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? ¹⁵And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” (Romans 10:14, 15 ESV)

But I’d like to put forward some scripture that speaks more to the motivation of missions. Verses that speak to how it is that our lives went as they did.

³⁵And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. ³⁶“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” ³⁷And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ³⁸This is the great and first commandment. ³⁹And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. ⁴⁰On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:35-39 (ESV)

I like how Jesus simplified things for us. The Old Testament is a hefty book. So many laws, So many rules. So many stories we are to learn from, some of which are hard to understand. Even harder to understand can be the poetry and the prophecy. But it all boils down to this. Love God. Love others. Even Job has this theme. Job’s friends tell him that the reason he is suffering was that he didn’t love God or others as he should. They were wrong in their diagnosis, but they understood the importance of these things.

God is the creator of all things, and all creation is to love God. But they don’t. And this is one of the reasons for missions and evangelism. One day, all creation will bow before God, as we read in Phil 2:10, 11 (ESV)

¹⁰so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, ¹¹and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

But people, generally don’t want to love God. It is not innate. We can only love God because he loved us first. As we read in 1 John 4:19-21 (ESV)

¹⁹We love because he first loved us. ²⁰If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. ²¹And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

I was not brought up in a Christian home. My parents practiced the Christian Science religion and this was all I knew growing up. I did not know that all people are sinners and are destined for eternity without God. I did not know that salvation was available through Jesus Christ. But even the distorted teachings of the Bible I did know, I rejected when I was a teenager.

I did not have a lot of friends as a teenager, probably because I wasn’t very friendly. I didn’t really care much about others, and it showed. It didn’t help that I was an introvert. I had a saying back then, “one is company, two is a crowd.” Life was all about me. If you were to ask me how I pictured my life in the future, I would have envisioned a home in the forest far from my nearest neighbor.

It's not that I didn’t want friends. But a true friend, I figured, was someone who would sacrifice something for me even though I knew I wasn’t worthy of that. I had little expectation that I would ever find such a person.

But then I met a group of people who loved me in spite of the fact that I was neither lovely nor lovable. I had never seen this before. And these people were able to do this because they knew Jesus, who died for us while we were still sinners! (Romans 5:8) These were people who loved God and who were loved by God and that love overflowed in love towards others. I, too, wanted this love, and so I put my trust in Christ. And the Holy Spirit came into my life and began to change me. And I gradually came to realize that life isn’t primarily about me. It is about God. It is about other people. So, I had to rethink what my future might look like.

As the scriptures we just read show, one way we demonstrate our love for God is by loving others. Elsewhere we read that Jesus said, ³⁴A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. ³⁵By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34, 35 ESV)”

Jesus also had the audacity to say things like that we should love even our enemies.

Wow!

There goes my dream of a self-centered lifestyle—at least if I wanted to be a disciple of Jesus.

Another way we show love for God, is by obeying his commands. Jesus said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (John 14:15 ESV) Even in the Lord’s prayer we say, “Your will be done.” It doesn’t make sense to pray that if we’re not willing to do God’s will. So, to put it another way, we show love for God by saying “yes” to Jesus.

Say yes to Jesus.

I went to university to study forestry. I guess I still had that dream in living in cabin in the woods. But as I grew in my knowledge of God, I was challenged by verses like that of Jesus’ response to temptation:

⁸And Jesus answered and said to him, “It is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and serve only him.’” (Luke 4:8 ESV)

This command to serve God applies to all people. We are all to serve only God. Jesus said he came not be served but to serve, and that we should do likewise. (Mark 10:43-45). This became my heart’s desire, to serve God. But it wasn’t always easy to figure out how to do that, and I didn’t always get it right.

Just after I graduated university, I attended the Urbana 79 missions convention to better explore what it meant to serve God. We were presented with a multitude of ways and opportunities to serve. Then I was more confused than ever. Here I was, just out of university, and I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Because there was still one more thing I needed to do in my learning how to love God. And that was to surrender my will to God. This was hard for me, because I like to be in control. And there have been many times in my life that I have taken that control back from God and had to re-learn all over again. Because when we hand over control to God, we have to trust Him for the results, and I am not a very trusting person.

A popular verse to memorize is Proverbs 3:5, 6.

  ⁵Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
  ⁶In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths. (ESV)

Or, to paraphrase, say yes to Jesus and trust Him for the outcome. This verse is far easier for me to say than to put into practice.

Eventually, I ended up in Haiti for a year, trying to love and serve God by loving and serving others. It was here I was working alongside Ingrid, though we weren’t interested in each other at the time. When we finally did begin our long-distance courtship in the year following that, one of the requirements we had for a potential spouse was being willing to go wherever God called us to go and do whatever he told us to do. For us, this has meant several career changes.

After we left Haiti, I moved to Alabama to work as a soil scientist. It was during this time that Ingrid and I got married. Ingrid was working as a nurse.

We quit those jobs to return to Haiti for seven years. We thought we went there to help people. But God still had many things He wanted us to learn. One of those things was how even our good works done with good intentions can, in the long run, have the opposite result than what we intended. This is an important principle that was useful in our ministry in Thailand.

Eventually, we ended up in California, back in our roles as soil scientist and nurse, first in Bakersfield then Fresno. We had good jobs. I had a job where I was paid well to have fun. We were thriving in Fresno, and figured we would stay there until we retired. We were still involved in mission work, but as supporters rather than being on the field, and that seemed okay. But God had other plans for us. And I still had some things to learn about trusting God.

One time I was helping a co-worker do some field work in Twenty-nine Palms—a place in the desert of California. On our last day there, we left the office at 6 am while it was still dark to drive to the site where we would be working. The wind was blowing hard and at one point the dust was so thick visibility was down to about 30 feet. Since we were examining soils, that meant working in these pits that had been dug the day before. Every time we disturbed the soil, flying dust filled the pit. I had a bandana over my mouth and ears. Still, by the end of the day, my feet were covered with dust, even though I had tall boots on.

By the time I got to Barstow on the way back to Bakersfield, it was dark. I went into McDonald’s because I was tired and just wanted to get home so I wanted something quick to eat. There was a homeless man at one of the tables and the Holy Spirit nudged me, “buy him some food and sit with him.” I said, “no, I’m tired and I just want to get home.” I bought my meal and sat down and saw that someone else had bought this man a meal. The Holy Spirit said to me, “that person is going to get the blessing.” I repented for my lack of trust. I had said “no” to Jesus.

In 2007 we joined several others on a vision trip to Thailand. These vision trips were done so that churches back in North America could have a better idea what is going on overseas so that they could better decide how to be involved. We went as mission reps from Butler Church. It was an eye-opener for us, seeing all these people bowing before lifeless idols. We were reminded of Psalm 135:15-18 (ESV):

  ¹⁵The idols of the nations are silver and gold,
    the work of human hands.
  ¹⁶They have mouths, but do not speak;
    they have eyes, but do not see;
  ¹⁷they have ears, but do not hear,
    nor is there any breath in their mouths.
  ¹⁸Those who make them become like them,
    so do all who trust in them.

While we were not moved to consider leaving California by this trip, we did become more aware of the challenges faced by missionaries working in that culture.

Several months later we took the course, Perspectives in the World Christian Movement. In that course they talk about, among other things, all the people groups in the world where there is no one to tell them about the good news of Jesus. We met on Monday evenings for 15 weeks. That meant for us fifteen sleepless Monday nights. God was stirring our hearts, but we’re both indecisive, so we weren’t sure what to do. We wanted to say “yes” to Jesus, but we weren’t sure what to say “yes” to.

Our indecisiveness became apparent when we once attended a marriage conference where they used Gary Smalley’s personality profiles. We each came out as Golden Retrievers. Smalley said that Golden Retrievers usually don’t get married to each other because neither one of them can make a decision to do so. That’s us. Indecisive.

But we had to do something because we had this burden in our hearts. Were we supposed to give more? Were we supposed to be more involved in mobilizing new missionaries? Were we supposed to go overseas? That last one seemed a bit far-fetched to us.

Someone suggested we talk to MB Mission’s regional mobilizer, being that we were attending an MB church. So, we met with him, and he encouraged us to apply to serve as missionaries with MB Mission. We felt that surely they would reject our application since we have not been to seminary and don’t have any church-planting experience and we were kind of old—in our 50s. But at least we would be relieved of this burden.

But they didn’t reject us and instead invited us to a thing called Spring Adventure, a week where we could get to know MB Mission better and vice versa. It would be combined with a psychological evaluation. We figured that now they would reject us for sure based on that evaluation, and we will be released from the burden we were carrying. But that was another eight months away, which seemed like a long time. So, we went to Spring Adventure and afterwards they told us they would communicate with us in about a month. Another month until we got our rejection letter. And we would be free.

After everything was over, we had a few hours until our ride to the airport. We did not know that at the time, the board of MB Mission was meeting during those hours. When it was about time for our ride, we went to see the relevant staff person who told us something different than what we were expecting to hear. He said that the board wanted to invite us to come to training in the fall. I wrote in my journal that day, “We’re running out of excuses not to trust God.” We had to say yes to Jesus.

God had given us this calling: to be on a team planting churches among the least-reached—people who have not had the opportunity to hear about Jesus. We did not know where God would send us only that we would go where He asked us to.

At one point during our time of training, we had a time where people were praying for us. Randy Friesen, the director of MB Mission at the time, was praying for me and he had a vision where I had to pass through a deep valley before I could get to the top of the mountain. I did not know at the time how dark that valley would be and how difficult the climb out would be. On the positive side, I also did not know how awesome the view from the top would be.

During our training it was discerned that we would join Junji and Hitomi, a couple from Japan, to form a church planting team in Northern Thailand near the training center the mission had there. Since we had already been to the area, we had an idea what to expect.

After our training was over, we went to visit Ingrid’s family in Alberta for Christmas. It would be my first time to go to Alberta during winter. Wouldn’t you know that they had record low temperatures in Edmonton just before we headed there.

We took the Greyhound bus to Edmonton, but we were several hours late due to snowy road conditions. We arrived at 2 am, which meant we had to wait until 9 am for the next bus. It was pretty quiet in the station after all the people cleared out for whom Edmonton was the final destination. The station was officially closed from 12:30 am to 5:30 am and the security guard kicked out anyone who did not have a ticket. Ingrid noticed one such person being thrown out—likely one of the homeless people who wanted a warm place to stay—It was probably about -30 outside. Afterwards, there were just four of us passengers left, along with the security guard and two custodial staff.

At 6:00 am the A&W located at the end of the terminal opened for service, so Ingrid and I decided to get some breakfast. While we were eating, Ingrid noticed the man who had been kicked out of the station earlier in the morning. He was seated in the corner behind me sipping a coffee. She suggested that we get him some breakfast. I wasn’t going to say “no” to Jesus like I had done in Barstow about 10 years earlier. So, I bought a breakfast sandwich, grabbed my coffee and sat down at the man’s booth. I offered him the sandwich, which he accepted, and I asked him how he was doing with the cold weather.

Victor shared a lot about the medical issues he had in the past as well as ones he currently had. His story was punctuated by comments of how good the breakfast sandwich was. He was twice widowed. In spite of all that he had been through, Victor had a better attitude than many people I know. He was not bitter, but he definitely was discouraged by the back problems. I offered to pray for him and he approved. Afterwards, Victor, on the verge of tears, said, “I’ve never had anyone pray for me before.” We parted and I saw him continue to fight the tears as he walked away. Victor did not so much need the sandwich as he needed someone to love him. I was glad I said yes to Jesus this time. (This story appears with more detail here)

It took us over a year to get our financial support together before we could go to Thailand. And if I could summarize our time in Thailand, I would say: it didn’t go as planned but it went as it should.

The leadership in Thailand figured we would attend the same language school in Thailand as all the previous MB missionaries had. But the language school did not have any available slots, so we ended up having to find a language school on our own, which we eventually did in Bangkok. A bit of a culture shock for us who like small town life.

About half-way through our language studies, we went to northern Thailand to do some scouting and make some plans for our eventual move there. While we were in the north making plans to move there, our country director calls to tell us to cancel our plans and do something else. No explanation why or no other options what to do were given.

We eventually teamed up with another couple and made plans to go to Isaan, the northeast region of Thailand. Isaan is the region with the least percentage of Christians, the fewest Christians and the fewest church planters (though presently there are a lot more missionaries there than when we first went.) We made four scouting trips to the region before deciding to land in Sisaket province.

After we finished language studies both of us couples were told to move to Chonburi temporarily to help at the orphanage and foundation offices while the missionaries who normally do that were on home assignment. During this time, the couple we were planning on going to Isaan with had health issues which made them decide to leave Thailand when their term ended in a few months. While we figured we could partner with another organization in Isaan, we were told we could not do that, but no other options were given as to what we could do.

Finally, Ajan Nat, who had just taken over pastoring the Bethel Church plant in Chachoengsao, comes up with an idea. A couple from their church had just purchased a house in a subdivision in a different part of the province and were thinking of starting a church there. We could join them to help attract people with things like teaching English, having activities for children, teaching guitar, baking or whatever else we could do. So, we finished up our term by moving to that area. However, the couple that we were supposed to help were so busy working to service their debt that they had no time for ministry. We start to question why we left our previous jobs to come to Thailand, but the Lord seems to keep telling us, “Stay the course.” So we pray as the Lord taught us, “not our will, but Yours be done.”

During the time we are in Chachoengsao, one of our missionaries working with the Khmu in the north, sends word that one of the people there is interested in doing church planting in the Isaan. So, we made plans for our next term to move to the north to try to see if we can put together a team from the Khmu churches to do church planting in Isaan.

When we arrived in the north we discover that none of the churches there were self-supporting, even though most of them were at least 10 years old. They were far from ready to be able to send teams elsewhere. The person who said he wanted to do church planting just wanted a job and he currently wasn’t even doing the job he was paid to do. In the meantime, the person who had been providing administrative support for the training center there, went back to North America. Originally, I wanted nothing to do with the center but then ended up taking over its administration. Financial and other issues made for lots of conflict, and many were the days that I prayed God would release me from the call to Thailand, but that release never came. I ended up finishing the term with burnout.

We arrived back in Canada to find a Lao-Canadian fellow had joined the mission and was planning on going to Isaan. He invited us to join him. So, for our third term, we moved to Isaan at last—in the town of Phon Phisai in Nong Khai province. The ministry there was fruitful, and the Enemy was relentlessly trying to destroy it. Lies and deception abounded. We were betrayed several times by people we trusted. When we shared some of these stories with our families back home, they said, “maybe God is trying to tell you to quit.”

Thai people in general, tend to be conflict avoiders, and Ingrid and I are also. There was the temptation to cut our losses and run. But as we prayed about it, God seemed to be telling us: “I can work even through flawed people—including you. Trust me.” And I’m glad we did not quit because we we’re on the verge of leaving the valley that Randy Friesen had mentioned many years ago, and to leave then would mean we would never make it to the mountain top. So, we once again said yes to Jesus, and new doors opened.

The next invitation again came from Ajan Nat, whom we worked with during our first term. She asked us if we would help start a church in her home district of Kamalasai in Kalasin province, a five-hour drive south of Phon Phisai, even though she wasn’t living there at the time.

And so, our final move was to Kamalasai to help begin to implement Ajan Nat’s vision to have a network house churches in that area. With the help of a Thai intern, we soon had two house churches going. But most of the first year, we were working on our own with occasional visits of teams from Chachoengsao. We developed friendships with many people in the area and had lots of opportunities to tell people about Jesus. But it was just in the last few months before we left that we began to see fruit from much of the seeds we sowed.

To see Yai Yuanjai’s face light up as she tells what Jesus has done for her, in spite of her crippled leg. To hear Ta Somchai thank God for what he has done—a God he never knew existed two years ago. To see the faces Fern and Aoi and Chomphoo and Toto and other children light up as they taste the cookies they helped make. To hear the laughter of Ta Ban, his wife Yai Thong and his sister Yai Urai as we share stories about life in Isaan. To see Moe grow in confidence as she tells stories from the Bible to others. To hear how Yai Li, while just a new believer, is helping to bring the good news of Jesus to new villages. To see Phi Ngok in her element as she figures out who in her community needs help and how we can help them. To watch her husband, Phi Oeng, as he decorates cookies to hand out at Christmas time. To watch Ajan Nat as she helps implement the vision she was given by Jesus.

As a bonus, last August we got to see the church we helped start in Phon Phisai launch its first church plant in a neighboring district. The view from the mountain top was awesome. It was hard to leave all that behind. Even putting together this message brought a few tears to my eyes. But now God is calling us to something new, though we don’t know the details of what that will look like. We’re so glad we said yes to Jesus, and trusted Him for the results.

Jesus said,

¹⁴And this gospel of the kingdom will be proclaimed throughout the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come. (Psalm 24:14 ESV)

This gospel is going to be preached to all the nations of the world. The only question we Jesus-followers have to answer is how will we participate in the process? Will we show our love for God by saying “yes” to him and trusting Him for the results?