Welcome Home

There have likely been thousands if not millions of discussions over the years as to what constitutes “home”.  People talk about things like:

• How long do you have to live some place before if feels like home?
• What do you need to have (things/rountines/etc) at a given location before you feel it is home?
• is home based on proximity to family?

Since we have moved a lot of times among several countries over the years, this becomes pertinent to us.  We have seldom lived close to family members during out 30 years of marriage.  If you ask me where home is, I would likely say, “home is where my sweetheart is.”

Perhaps similar to this is the question of belonging in a certain area.  I usually feel if I meet people I recognize when I’m about town then it is a bit more like “my” town.  I remember randomly meeting an acquaintance in Bangkok and feeling amazed—we did not know a lot of Thai people in Bangkok outside of our neighbors—so when we met up with one in that city of over 12 million people it was quite a surprise.

Maybe another measure of “home” is whether any one misses you when you are gone.  I remember belonging to an organization once where we tried hard to build relationships and be connected, but we were not very successful.  After a while we gave up and quit.  About half a year later we met up with a member of that organization and from the discussion we realized that he did not even realize that we were no longer going to meetings!

About three months ago we moved to the subdivision we currently live in.  There is a little fellow of about three, Cartoon, who can frequently be seen riding his tiny pink bicycle up and down the road.  Once in a while, if we are out on the side walk, he will stop and visit.

Cartoon Comes to Welcome us Home

We recently got back from a two-week long trip.  We arrived at night and so it wasn’t until the next morning that I was up getting our truck loaded with stuff we would need for some activities that day.  I saw Cartoon down the road and when he noticed me, he rode his bike up to me, got off, and wrapped his arms around my leg in a big hug.

Welcome home.

Third Culture People

I was thinking about how little I know about my adopted country.  Sure, we have lived here for two years and have done lots of things and read lots of books about our new homeland.  But my knowledge is mostly facts

As we learn a new language, our goal would be to use the language as well as a native Thai speaker.  Some of those who teach the Thai language divide language learning into several stages—the last one usually occurring about 20 years into the process when you use the language almost as well as a native Thai speaker.  No matter how long you live here, you never get to use Thai just like a Thai.

Thai people embracing a
and culture I will never
fully understand

Why is this?  Why is our knowledge so limited?

Being Thai is totally ingrained in a person born in Thailand to a Thai family and then raised here.  For them, using the language is not just a matter of what they’ve studied or learned from experience, it is a part of who they are.

The subject came up the other day as we were discussing returning to our homeland for a brief period. We come to a country and try to master the language and culture but never completely fit in. Then we go back to our own culture but, since we have changed, we don’t quite fit in there either.  And so we end up being a third culture and we end up relating best to people who have had similar experiences.

You could say the same thing about your relationship to anyone because everyone is unique.  In a sense, we each have our own culture.  Try as I might, I will never completely understand my wife, nor she me, even though we love each other and spend so much time together.  Miscommunication still sometimes occurs.

Some people don’t even try.  Spats, feuds, and even wars can be brought about between people or groups because the don’t understand each other and don’t want to try.

And then there is my relationship to God.  How can I begin to understand God who is so “other” than me?
God is at the advantage here because He is our creator and so understands us even better than we understand ourselves.

¹ ​​​​​​​​O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
² ​​​​​​​​You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
³ ​​​​​​​​You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ ​​​​​​​​Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
⁵ ​​​​​​​​You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
⁶ ​​​​​​​​Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.   (Psalm 139:1-6)

Fortunately God took the initiative to try to help us understand Him.  First, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to give us a better glimpse of what he is like.  Then, if we will believe the testimony of His Son, he will place His Spirit in our lives.

¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.
³ Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;
⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope.
⁵ And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:1-5 (NIV)

One day I have the hope that I will understand God better, for I will see Him as He is. (1 Corinthians 13:12)
Meanwhile I live as a third culture person—a misfit, if you will—in more ways than one. 

Holiday-not, but a Holy Day

It was supposed to be our day off. It was a holiday to boot. Yet, here it was, Monday, and our house was a rather noisy place with children playing and having a good time and some youth practicing guitar.

It started on Sunday afternoon. I was chatting with some of the neighborhood kids outside our home. One of them, Jill (not her real name), mentioned that the next day was her 10^th birthday. So I said that since it was her birthday, she should have a birthday cake. And then I suggested that she could come and help make a cake.

So three kids showed up about 10:30 am and Ingrid began the cake-making instructions.

 
 
After the cake was in the oven, we had them read the creation story from a simplified Bible story book, designed for English learners. Then I taught them how to play Uno, which they caught onto quickly and had fun playing—especially after the second hand in which I had two 50 point and three 20 point cards left in my hand.



We took a break for lunch while the cake cooled, and then the three were back, plus one other, for the decorating. One of my guitar students was there (an hour early), but he seemed to enjoy the cake decorating as much, if not more so, than the others. He was pretty good at it, too.

 
 


And then the kids made themselves at home—playing with the guitars, tambourine and drum and singing some Christian songs that they had learned in kids club. (I did forbid use of the hula hoop inside.)



Eventually Ingrid carried some cake to Jill’s house while I continued with the guitar lessons. She discovered that as chaotic as our place had become that day, it was even worse at Jill’s place—maybe that’s why she likes it at our place.  And one of the participants in the day’s activities was sure to remind us that his birthday is in March.

After the guitar students left we were exhausted, but glad that we could provide some constructive activities for their day off from school.

This is what are life is often like here—things don’t always go as planned—sometimes they even go better.  And while we could have used a day off to rest, it’s always in season to show some love to our neighbors.  And the cake was good, too.

But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” –Matthew 19:14 (NLT)