It seems like a long time ago.
We had just moved into our rented townhouse in Chachoengsao province and we were having a time of worship and offering our house to God. A large group of people from our church and some fellow missionaries were gathered.
Someone asked if we had Thai names yet, to which we replied that we had not. The task of assigning the names fell to Pee Chin, who offered up the following:
Edd: Mahnah
(มานะ) = perseverance; persistence; grit; tenacity
Ingrid: Neet
(นิจ) = continued; stable; lasting; regular; constant; durable
When I heard the meaning of the names, I thought to myself, "he doesn't know me". I've always been a better starter than a finisher. Quitting has come easy for me—not so much that I can't finish, but because I get bored and distracted and start something else. If I have any persistence it's because my wife helps me to stay focused.
What I've learned over the past few years is that my name wasn't so much descriptive as prophetic. During our time of debriefing at the end our term last month, we were congratulated: "You made it! You did it!"
Our previous term had not finished well. And this past term has been very challenging, as was expected. There were several occasions we were ready to pack our bags. But we made it to the end, exhausted, but feeling good about the fact that we hadn't given up. There had been challenges in our ministry and it was important that we stayed and worked through them and not give up.
Thai people, in general, are a lot like me. They are conflict-avoiders. Harmony is a strong value in their society. If there is conflict, one tends to just smile be agreeable (even if the really disagree) or to flee. We had wanted to do the latter on numerous occasions, but we didn't.
Towards to end of our term, there were some people in our church facing conflict. Some were wanting to run away from their problems. I could totally relate.
On our last Sunday in Thailand, we had a prayer time for any who felt they needed prayer for anything. As we were praying, a picture comes to mind. I'm not sure if it was for the church—or if it was a prophetic vision for me.
In the picture in my mind, there is a rugged mountain. At the top of the mountain there is a huge treasure. But getting there is not easy. If you want to get to the treasure, you will have to work hard. There will be times when you will fall. You will suffer bruises and scrapes and maybe some broken bones.
The valley floor is flat. There are smoothing walking paths meandering all over the landscape. And scattered throughout Satan has placed some small piles of coins—not high value coins, more like pocket change. Not enough to thrive, but enough to survive. And from our precarious perches on the mountain, we can look down at any time and see them.
The meaning of the vision was that if one wants to see ministry bear great fruit, one will have to endure trials and suffering. But the enemy doesn't want our ministry to bear fruit. So he has put out these little rewards in plain view to draw us away. His message is, "You don't need to see a large, thriving church of people whose lives have been transformed by the power of the gospel. Be content with a small comfortable family."
Paul wrote: "
Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day." 2 Corinthians 4:16 (HCSB)
And again, "
So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Galatians 6:9 (NLT)
We are planning to return to Thailand in a couple months, but we have no illusion that it will be easy. The last season was difficult, the next may be moreso. But we don't want to quit and give Satan the victory. And perhaps I will grow into my name: perseverance.
