The Wait

About Christmas-time last year, we were looking for a gift.  We thought that a desert rose would be a nice gift for the person had in mind.

The desert rose (Adenium obesum) is not actually related to a rose at all, but is in the same plant family as dogbane—a common weed where I grew up in Connecticut.  It is a plant that is often trained for bonsai.  By pinching back the tips, the shrub will remain short but will get quite stout.

The particular pant we saw was looking not very attractive in a pot that was overgrown with weeds.  The owner of the nursery seemed a bit reluctant to sell.  It was somewhat expensive, but I was expecting that, because he had been raising it for 7 years.

We brought it home, cleaned it up, and repotted the plant and soon it rewarded us by dropping what few leaves it had.

For three months we patiently watered and weeded the woody skeleton.

And then this happened.



About a week later it was like this.



Perhaps one day it will look like this large specimen we saw in Chiang Mai.



While it seems like we had to be rather patient with the desert rose, our pineapple plants have done a much better job at testing our patience.

Shortly after we moved here in February of last year, we stuck a pineapple top in the ground.



It seemed like it was doing OK, as it began to grow.  But once it got to a certain point, it seemed to stagnate—not dying but not growing either.  It was like this for many months.



Then, all of a sudden, the innermost leaves started to turn red and a flower bud began to emerge.



After several more weeks, it is looking more and more like a pineapple.  And who knew they had such pretty purple and white flowers.



I’m not great at waiting.  But it seems that to achieve most good things in this life it takes patience and hard work.

The Bible is full of verses about “waiting on God” and being patient with others.  A few examples:

In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:3 (NIV)

Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him. Isaiah 30:18 (ESV)

Love is patient 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV)

Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains.  You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.  James 5:7-8 (ESV)
 
I’m not sure how much longer it will be until we can eat some fruit, but we’re certainly looking forward to it, and I’ll try to be patient.

The Bride Price

   An excellent wife who can find?
        She is far more precious than jewels. 
   Proverbs 31:10 (ESV)

A couple of days ago we were invited to a nearby Khmu village for a house dedication ceremony. However, the person who had invited us was at a dowry ceremony, so we got to sit in on that instead.

At the beginning, there were only a few men, but the crowd gradually grew to include women as well.

In the photo below, the father of the groom is assembling the dowry tray.  Among other things, several parts of a pig are included, especially, we were told, the head and the tail.  Without those two things, the dowry would not be accepted.  In this photo, the heart and the tongue are being tied together by a piece of bamboo cord.

The man in the light blue shirt on the left is the father of the bride.





Below is a photo if the tray, which contains most of the dowry.  There is a bamboo basket containing cash and a few ingots that date back to the days of French Indochina.  From a pig there is the split skull, a piece of the rump skin with tail attached, the heart, and the tongue.  There is also a small boiled chicken.

The green leaves are from a special plant that is revered for decor because it does not suffer from insect or disease damage.  There pink flowers are Bougainvillea, the red ones are a type of Ixora.




The fellow in the orange shirt appears to be the dowry broker as he is the one who checked to see that everything is in order.  Having counted the cash, he has the father of the bride verify the count before placing it back in the basket for the official presentation.

You can also see from this photo that there are generous amounts of orange Fanta going around.




The broker then takes the chicken and removes its legs and and wishbone to see if they are sufficient quality.



After he inspects the chicken parts.  The broker then grabs the heart, which has already been cut open, and checks to see if it is good.  Then he examines the split open skull to see it that also is of good quality.  (The rest of the pig is in process of becoming dinner.)




Once everything has been inspected and approved, it is officially presented to the parents of the bride.  The father of the groom, groom and bride to be hold the basket on one side and the father and mother of the bride receive it on the other.




In addition to the gift to the parents of the bride, there is a gift to the bridal couple as well.  There is a package of fabric to be used as a wrap-around skits (ผ้าถุง), which is opened and the pieces of fabric are counted--there are twelve of them.  There are also a couple of blankets.  In the photo below you can also see a bamboo canister which contains sticky rice (there are two of these.)




The groom's family is Christian and does not drink alcohol.  However, this is not the case for the bride's family.  A bottle of strong liquor is opened and a shot glass is filled and given to the father of the bride.  The same cup is refilled again and again until the important guests are served.  The bottle and shot glass are then passed among the guests.  It seems to spend most of its time with a group of three men.




The father of the groom then offers up a prayer for the bridal couple.



Throughout most of this ceremony, the bridal couple seems disinterested and somewhat bored.  I'm not sure they ever smiled.  (That was also the case for the two Khmu weddings we have attended since moving here.)

Finally, dinner is served.  Trays of various foods are placed on the floor and bags of sticky rice are distributed to the guests.  Ingrid and I share one bag of rice.   I don't eat too much of this special food as four of the five dishes are heavily laced with cilantro.  The soup contains just a little bit of cilantro and so it is tolerable for me to dip the rice in that.

The dishes on the tray are:
Top left: raw pigs blood mixed with a few other things.
Top right: chopped organ meat and other meat
Bottom left: pork soup
Bottom right: ground raw pork

Off to the right is minced pork (lab ลาบ).





The wedding itself is scheduled for the following day.

While we enjoyed being a part of this cultural event, I have mixed feelings about the concept of dowries in general.  To me there seems to be the implication that a woman is "property", which can be sold.  Functionally, I'm not sure what the difference is between selling a daughter as a bride or selling her to be a prostitute.

To the husband, then, she is not an equal human, but merchandise that he has paid for. If he gets tired of her, he can buy another, newer one.  Or maybe just a temporary one.  After all, you can cheat on your wife, but not your property.

There is also the problem of the amount of the dowry--is the measure of the value of a woman only the amount of money that the father thinks he can get for her?

If wives could only be had for what women are worth, then even the Donald Trumps of this world would be single.

Some will say that the dowry is to help cover the cost of raising the daughter.  If that is the case, why are the sons not also sold?

Still, it is better than some cultures where the parents of the bride pay the parents of the groom to take her--as if the woman has negative value.

The Walled City

And the mountains shall be thrown down, and the cliffs shall fall,

and every wall shall tumble to the ground.

 Ezekiel 38:20b (ESV)

Soon after we moved to Wiang Kaen, we discovered a forest near our home that still had a lot of very large, old trees.  We were surprised because there aren't a lot of old native trees left in Thailand, especially near towns.

Road through the forest

Looking at Google maps, we noticed that this Forest was fairly large in size.




Another thing that struck us when we moved here is the name of the place: Wiang Kaen. “Wiang” is a term used to describe walled cities, and we certainly didn't seem to be any walls around that we could notice.

Wiang Kaen today: Where's the wall?

Recently, they have been doing some cleaning up around the old forest, and in the process we have discovered something—the reason that this old forest still exists is because it is the old, walled city—it’s just that the forest have covered up a lot of the walls and moats and other historical landmarks in the place.  But now there is a map that shows the general layout.  Knowing this we have become aware of the old moat, quite deep in places and often near the present roads, but obscured by brush and trees.

The name of this place is “Boran Satan Wiang Kaen” (โบราณสถานเวียงแก่น which roughly translates: ancient Wiang Kaen) or “Wiang Kaen Forest” (ดงเวียงแก่น).  The old city was founded about 700 years ago.

Map of the old city

The general pattern of the border is an exterior wall, then the moat, then a larger, interior wall.  Below are two photos of where the interior wall has been cut for a road.

The cut through the wall looking into the old city

The cut through the wall looking out of the city

The moat is so grown over with vegetation, it is usually hard to notice that it exists.  In the photos below, I traced the approximate cross section of the moat.

The moat

The Moat

The are a few small “hills” which are the remains of old chedis.  The one below is labeled #3 on the map.  It has been opened up so that you can see some of the old bricks inside.

One of the old chedis

Looking down into the chedi

Another old chedi is across from the present, simple, Buddhist temple.  This one has a large tree growing in it.

Another remains of an old chedi

The are other, interesting relicts scattered about the forest.  This Buddha image of uncertain vintage is along a mostly overgrown trail.  Some “lucky bamboo” plants in front of it show that it seems to have received some attention in recent times.

Old Buddha image with newer
planting of lucky bamboo

The Buddhist temple is a bit different.  It is constructed like an ordinary building instead of using the usual ornate architecture.  The entrance is a roll-up steel door.  Often it is closed.

The temple

There is a shrine to the “Lord (spirit) of Wiang Kaen” (เจ้าหลวงเวียงแก่น).  A new one has just been built in the last couple of months; it is adjacent to the old one.

Shrine of the "Lord of Wiang Kaen"

It's interesting to look back at this old city and see what it has become.  I'm sure that the people of the old city thought that what they built would endure for ages, but instead all that remains are a few mounds of dirt.

In the same way, we often behave like or think that the things we see around us, the product of the labors and imaginations of mankind, will last forever.  In reality, we really have no idea what our hometown will look like in 50 or 100 years.

Only God is the eternal, unchanging one; He and His word will remain forever.


Why spend money on what is not bread,
    and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
   and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
Isaiah 55:2 (NIV) 

For he is the living God
   and he endures forever;
his kingdom will not be destroyed,
   his dominion will never end.

Daniel 6:26b (NIV)