Why Wait?

Note: This is an open note to my Brother-in-law, who will remain unnamed.

Dear Brother-in-law,

It was with sadness we heard, several months ago, that you had been placed in home hospice care. While we don't know what this means as far as how long it will be till you get to be with Jesus, it will likely be before me. (None of us really know how long we have left on this planet, we just pretend to know by looking at longevity statistics.) But I'm glad that you hung around long enough for us to come visit you these past couple of weeks.

I wanted to write to you now, because in our culture we have this strange practice of waiting until people are no longer with us to eulogize them. I think it's kind of a sad practice, because the person the eulogies are directed at doesn't get to enjoy them.

My history with you is not all that long, as far as our life-spans are concerned.  At first I was a bit leery when my sister met some stranger online about 18 years ago. She was still hurting from the loss of her first husband and I was feeling a bit protective of my little (if older) sibling.  But any fears I may have had about this stranger soon passed.

I first met you at your wedding.  In our culture, when we get married, we have these vows we repeat.  The vows are kind of like a contract with the fine print written in invisible ink.  Or, to use terminology from your former career, it's like obligating yourself to a cost-plus contract when you currently don't have the resources for the cost, let alone the "plus". This is because we do not know what our futures hold for us. We pledge "for better or worse", but we don't know which proportion the better's and worse's will come in. We all hope we'll leave earth peacefully in our sleep together with our spouses on the same night.

But that doesn't happen too often.

I want to thank you for coming into my sister's life at a time when she needed someone like you.  You came not only into her life, but you also took her children as your own as well.  That doesn't always happen with step-parents. I like watching how you interact with my sister's kids and grand-kids, even if they aren't genetically yours and even if you first had to bribe the grandkids with M&M's to get them to come to you. (I'm easily bribed with M&M's too. Just want to let you know before our next visit.😋)

You have made sure my sister was well cared for, not only in the present but also looking to the future. I appreciate that.

I like your sense of humor that shows you don't take life too seriously. Your house has always been a fun place to visit and I have a lot of fond memories from there. You even manage tp smile and laugh in your present condition, which is rather admirable. And people always feel welcome at your house.

You have a generous spirit, which, in my mind, was exemplified when you took a lot of time and patience to make a dulcimer just to give away as a gift.  (I had kind of been hoping you would make me a new guitar for when we eventually move back to California to replace the one I currently have that has suffered a bit from the hot, humid climate here 😁 )

Your generous spirit showed as well when you opted to take care of your ailing mother at home as long as possible, rather than send her off some place where no one knows her.  You even made a little "apartment" so she could be independent but always close by.

All this shows that you value the people in your life, and since these are many of the same people that I have in my life, I consider it an honor have you as part of our family.

But there is a greater family that we belong to, and that is the family of Jesus.  To all appearances, you will get to see Jesus before I do.

Paul wrote, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I don't know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body." (Philippians 1:21-24)

We are called to worship and serve the Lord Jesus only until such time as He sees fit, and then He calls us to his side.  So while I like having you as part of my family in this world, one day we will all depart to join the greater family in heaven.

In the meantime, remember that you are loved not only by your Father in heaven but also by so many of us on earth.  And we realize that you love us, even if you can't always give voice to it.

Thank you for being a part of our family.

Ten Years

Today marks 10 years since I quit my previous job. Ten years since I stepped out in faith to begin a new venture.

If I knew then what the next ten years would bring, I might not have made that step.  It's not that the ten years have been bad, but there have been a lot of challenges along the way.

Ten years ago we left our North American lives behind ready to give up our lives, if necessary, for the sake of the gospel.

But first, I think back to another August, 27 years prior to that.

As I write this blog, I am in the town of Barrhead, Alberta. Thirty-seven years ago this month I passed though Barrhead, crossing the country on a Greyhound bus. I was traveling from where I was living near Seattle to begin a new job in Alabama. I decided to make use of the 1-week Ameripass I had purchased to visit people along the way.

I came to Barrhead to visit the woman (who is now my wife), whom I had been on a team with in Haiti for a year. I didn't know at the time that this beautiful young woman would become my wife, but my choice to visit her at that time had consequences. As I visited her family farm, I was struck by the huge fields of ripening grain. (Huge to me, small compared to the farms in Southern Alberta.) In order to get these fields laden with grain, the farmer has to make a sacrifice. He has to take grain that is perfectly good to eat and throw it away into the soil. Short-term sacrifice for long-term gain.

How many bushels of wheat we sacrificed to get the bountiful harvest?

Jesus said that unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it cannot bear fruit. (John 12:24) While Jesus was likely referring to the death he was to die, he also spoke to many who would give up their lives rather than give up Jesus.  This verse also speaks to the things in our life that we need to put to death in order to bear fruit for Jesus. Paul writes, "if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." (Romans 8:13)

Ten years ago, when we said we were willing even to give up our lives for the sake of the gospel, I'll confess, I didn't fully understand what it means to give up one's life--what it means to die. While we have not have physically died in the past ten years, we've had to put to death a lot of things. One of those things we have had to put to death is some of our dreams. It's not that the dreams were bad, it's just that God had something better and perhaps bigger in mind. When I put to death sinful deeds, it's not so bad. But putting to death dreams can be much harder. We've had let go of several dreams in the past ten years. And while in the long run we don't regret giving those up for better things, it hasn't always been easy.

These past two weeks, as we've been in North America visiting and helping family, we're reminded of some of the other costs of following Jesus. We miss our families when we are away from them. We also miss some of our favorite haunts from when we lived in the area. True, we have gained new "family" and have new favorite places to visit, but it's not quite the same.

Putting to death these things, however, has enabled there to be the birth of new things. We've seen people who have never heard the name of Jesus receive new life in his name. We've seen churches born where before there were none. We've seen ordinary men and women who were once slaves to sin become reborn as leaders in God's family. It has been worth it to have some things die in order that other things might come to life.

As we look forward, we have no idea what the next year will bring, let alone the next ten years. But we pray God will give us grace to put to death what is needed in order to ensure a great harvest in the future.