Dear Brother-in-law,
It was with sadness we heard, several months ago, that you had been placed in home hospice care. While we don't know what this means as far as how long it will be till you get to be with Jesus, it will likely be before me. (None of us really know how long we have left on this planet, we just pretend to know by looking at longevity statistics.) But I'm glad that you hung around long enough for us to come visit you these past couple of weeks.
I wanted to write to you now, because in our culture we have this strange practice of waiting until people are no longer with us to eulogize them. I think it's kind of a sad practice, because the person the eulogies are directed at doesn't get to enjoy them.
My history with you is not all that long, as far as our life-spans are concerned. At first I was a bit leery when my sister met some stranger online about 18 years ago. She was still hurting from the loss of her first husband and I was feeling a bit protective of my little (if older) sibling. But any fears I may have had about this stranger soon passed.
I first met you at your wedding. In our culture, when we get married, we have these vows we repeat. The vows are kind of like a contract with the fine print written in invisible ink. Or, to use terminology from your former career, it's like obligating yourself to a cost-plus contract when you currently don't have the resources for the cost, let alone the "plus". This is because we do not know what our futures hold for us. We pledge "for better or worse", but we don't know which proportion the better's and worse's will come in. We all hope we'll leave earth peacefully in our sleep together with our spouses on the same night.
But that doesn't happen too often.
I want to thank you for coming into my sister's life at a time when she needed someone like you. You came not only into her life, but you also took her children as your own as well. That doesn't always happen with step-parents. I like watching how you interact with my sister's kids and grand-kids, even if they aren't genetically yours and even if you first had to bribe the grandkids with M&M's to get them to come to you. (I'm easily bribed with M&M's too. Just want to let you know before our next visit.😋)
You have made sure my sister was well cared for, not only in the present but also looking to the future. I appreciate that.
I like your sense of humor that shows you don't take life too seriously. Your house has always been a fun place to visit and I have a lot of fond memories from there. You even manage tp smile and laugh in your present condition, which is rather admirable. And people always feel welcome at your house.
You have a generous spirit, which, in my mind, was exemplified when you took a lot of time and patience to make a dulcimer just to give away as a gift. (I had kind of been hoping you would make me a new guitar for when we eventually move back to California to replace the one I currently have that has suffered a bit from the hot, humid climate here 😁 )
Your generous spirit showed as well when you opted to take care of your ailing mother at home as long as possible, rather than send her off some place where no one knows her. You even made a little "apartment" so she could be independent but always close by.
All this shows that you value the people in your life, and since these are many of the same people that I have in my life, I consider it an honor have you as part of our family.
But there is a greater family that we belong to, and that is the family of Jesus. To all appearances, you will get to see Jesus before I do.
Paul wrote, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I don't know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body." (Philippians 1:21-24)
We are called to worship and serve the Lord Jesus only until such time as He sees fit, and then He calls us to his side. So while I like having you as part of my family in this world, one day we will all depart to join the greater family in heaven.
In the meantime, remember that you are loved not only by your Father in heaven but also by so many of us on earth. And we realize that you love us, even if you can't always give voice to it.
Thank you for being a part of our family.
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