Not long ago, we stopped at Panda Express for lunch. It was our first time in Panda Express in a few years. I had forgotten about the fortune cookies that come with the meal. After consuming too much Bejing Beef, I cracked open my cookie to find the following:
"You display the wonderful traits of genuineness and courteousness."
This isn't much of a fortune, but a statement of character. How did they know me so well?
All humility aside, I do at least try to be genuine and courteousness.
The problem is that, in some cultures, genuineness is not a wonderful trait to have. We've occasionally gotten into a lot of trouble in such cultures because we are too genuine. What is more valued is agreeableness and calmness. Always say, "yes", even if you don't really mean it. Smile, even if you're angry. Don't say what you think, say what you think the other person wants to hear.
This is really hard for us. Genuineness comes much easier.
I'm surprised that this statement came in a Chinese restaurant as I think they would have similar communication values as Thailand.
The apostle Paul counsels us to "speak the truth in love." (Ephesians 4:15) I would amend it:
Speak the truth in love in a culturally appropriate manner.
And maybe one day, we will be able to communicate without offending someone.
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