Behold, O Lord

In the fall of 1981, I found myself in the hamlet of Stouffville, Ontario, Canada. I had come there to take part in some training with a group called Emmanuel International before heading overseas for a year. The organization was founded by a man named George Middleton, a former missionary to Ethiopia with SIM.

It was a life-changing time for me, and not only because I met Ingrid there (though that was pretty life-changing). At the training we learned practical things like driving 4x4 vehicles off-road and how to maintain them. Milking cows. Preparing chicken from scratch. I even got to have my first experience with hypothermia (that was not part of the required training). But also as part of the training, on most days George would give us instruction on spiritual formation. During this time I became especially aware of my own inadequacy before God—how much even my good works fell short of God's standards—and how much we needed Jesus if we were to accomplish anything for God. We can't be Godly without the power of God. As Zechariah was told to encourage Zerubabbel when facing a seemingly impossible task, "Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts." (Zechariah 4:6 ESV)

Emmanuel International HQ in Stouffville

This song started as a poem in response to what was going on inside of me while I was at the training. The tune and chords came later.

Behold, O Lord
© Edd Russell (Fall 1980, Stouffville, Ontario; Emmanuel International)

E                                 F#7  A                                     E
Behold, O Lord how much... do we withhold from you.
       E                            F#7  A                                             E
We say it's you that we love... But we don't act like that's true.
      B                     E                  B                      C#m
If God you can forgive,... and make our lives a light:
 A        B        C#m           A    B                       E
Take them, O Lord from us--   help us to live right.

How can we lie so much,
how can we live like the dead?
How can we always live our lives
without you as the head?
We give our lives to you, God,
use them as you would:
Crucify our hearts, O God,
Make them as they should.

You have created us, O God,
To you we do belong.
Take our lives, we pray, O God,
Make our lives a song:
A song that sings to you, Lord,
To you gives glory alone—
Let us sing for you, O God,
Until you take us home.