My Haitian co-worker and I were visiting a family in a village in the hills above Saint Marc when the mother made this comment. It was an awkward enough question to begin with and it was made even more so by the fact that this daughter that the mother was referring to was engaged to be married and we had already been invited to the wedding. Clearly we needed to do some teaching. But the question remained, why would the mother want me to have a baby with her soon-to-be-married daughter? This wasn't like the girls who where eyeing me—an eligible bachelor at the time—as a way to get out of poverty. The mother knew I would be leaving the country in a couple months, which was why this topic even came up.
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| At the Wedding |
It was about skin color. If someone had a child with a white person, there was a chance the baby would have lighter skin, and lighter-skinned people were felt to be at economic advantage even in this overwhelmingly black country run by black people.
As foreigners, we were used to being called blanc, which literally translates as white, although the term was used to refer to foreigners regardless of skin color. White was associated with foreignness and foreignness meant money and power, two things desperately lacking in that impoverished land. And while many saw hope in pale skin, I saw the beauty in their dark faces and the ugliness of the foreigners who often used their power and money to exploit the poor. It took a lot of moral character to not do that, especially when there were such easy opportunities for sex and abuse of power just because one had white skin.
This incident probably marked the beginning of my learning about the relationship between skin color and power; I realized that I had to be careful so as not to abuse that power. It isn't always easy and I don't always succeed.
Skin-color issues are not always simple to understand. Living in Thailand for the past while, I've been amazed at the number of skin products that have whitening properties. I'm challenged to find deodorant without bleaching agents. There are even whitening products to use in places where the sun doesn't shine! I hear girls bemoaning the fact that they are not beautiful because, among other things, their skin is too dark—even when it isn't as dark as my tanned skin. Teenage girls we know have shared a post on social media that says, "what guy would love a girl with small breasts and dark skin?" Their ideal of beauty comes from the very light-skinned models that they see pictured in magazines and on the internet. And these models are usually Asian, not European.
In Thailand the idea seems to be that since you get dark skin by working under the hot sun, if you have light skin, people are less likely to see you as an uneducated, unrefined hick. The term, "from the country," is not a compliment. And it is not just color that matters. Beauty and handsomeness are seen as signs of good karma, and whiter skin is part of that. The better-looking you are, the better your chance of getting a good job. I once saw a job posting on a bulletin board in the shopping mall for a "young attractive female." I expected it to be about selling beauty products, but it wasn't. It was an ordinary job staffing a sales booth and they were looking for eye candy. At least they were open about it.
We humans get so hung up on outward appearances. It is sad to me that the young people in Thailand find it necessary to try to have paler skin in order to have better job opportunities or to get a boyfriend or girlfriend. Why should that matter? Why should pale skin be a ticket up or a pass to get into the right crowd? Why can't people be fully accepted and integrated into society as they are with whatever skin color God gave them?
For me, one of the challenges of working in Thailand is understanding the complicated relationships between status (and all the things that go with that) and color and power. Unfortunately, skin color is one of those things that fits into the status equation. In my western egalitarian mindset, I don't want people to agree with me or defer to me just because I am higher status. It can be hard to get an honest opinion sometimes because people may outwardly agree with me just because I appear to have higher status. And I have to be extra careful that I not use my inferred power (white skin) to try to take advantage of people. (There is also discrimination against us due to skin color, but that is another story.)
This past year, we have been back in the USA, stuck here because of COVID-19. This has given me opportunity to be in America when issues related to skin-color are in the news and the topic of many conversations. I find I still have a lot of learning to do. Over the years, I've had black co-workers, supervisors and friends but I had not really thought much about the extra challenges they face due to their skin color. It shouldn't matter, but it does, and that bugs me.
I think it is especially troubling when there is racism and classism in the church. One of the characteristics of the New Covenant ushered in by Jesus is that there is no longer room for an "us and them" mentality. Prior to that it was acceptable for Jews to keep separate from non-Jews. But now those barriers are removed. Paul writes in Colossians 3:11 (MSG)
Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.
In Christ we are all baptized into one body:
For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. (1 Corinthians 12:13 - NIV)
There is no place in the church for division based on outward appearances. There is only one Holy Spirit, how can we then try to exclude or treat differently those who who share in the same Spirit?
A big challenge is that often disparate treatment of others happens unintentionally. We may not be aware of how our words or actions affect others. I've learned from experience that the way I perceive things may not be the way they are perceived by others. So, how can we know? I figure the best way is to ask—to invite people of color into conversation about these issues without getting defensive if the conversation becomes uncomfortable.
I like the words Jesus gave to His disciples:
Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples. (John 13:35 - NLT2)
When I read this, I like to picture a gathering of people from many different language and ethnic groups where each person's unique culture would lend to the character of the group. This miraculous display genuine love by the power of the Holy Spirit would become the distinctive of the church in the eyes of the world. How beautiful that would be. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we heard things like, "They must be Christians, look at how they get along with each other and treat one another even if they are so different and have so little in common."
Are we there yet?
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