Why Wait?

Note: This is an open note to my Brother-in-law, who will remain unnamed.

Dear Brother-in-law,

It was with sadness we heard, several months ago, that you had been placed in home hospice care. While we don't know what this means as far as how long it will be till you get to be with Jesus, it will likely be before me. (None of us really know how long we have left on this planet, we just pretend to know by looking at longevity statistics.) But I'm glad that you hung around long enough for us to come visit you these past couple of weeks.

I wanted to write to you now, because in our culture we have this strange practice of waiting until people are no longer with us to eulogize them. I think it's kind of a sad practice, because the person the eulogies are directed at doesn't get to enjoy them.

My history with you is not all that long, as far as our life-spans are concerned.  At first I was a bit leery when my sister met some stranger online about 18 years ago. She was still hurting from the loss of her first husband and I was feeling a bit protective of my little (if older) sibling.  But any fears I may have had about this stranger soon passed.

I first met you at your wedding.  In our culture, when we get married, we have these vows we repeat.  The vows are kind of like a contract with the fine print written in invisible ink.  Or, to use terminology from your former career, it's like obligating yourself to a cost-plus contract when you currently don't have the resources for the cost, let alone the "plus". This is because we do not know what our futures hold for us. We pledge "for better or worse", but we don't know which proportion the better's and worse's will come in. We all hope we'll leave earth peacefully in our sleep together with our spouses on the same night.

But that doesn't happen too often.

I want to thank you for coming into my sister's life at a time when she needed someone like you.  You came not only into her life, but you also took her children as your own as well.  That doesn't always happen with step-parents. I like watching how you interact with my sister's kids and grand-kids, even if they aren't genetically yours and even if you first had to bribe the grandkids with M&M's to get them to come to you. (I'm easily bribed with M&M's too. Just want to let you know before our next visit.😋)

You have made sure my sister was well cared for, not only in the present but also looking to the future. I appreciate that.

I like your sense of humor that shows you don't take life too seriously. Your house has always been a fun place to visit and I have a lot of fond memories from there. You even manage tp smile and laugh in your present condition, which is rather admirable. And people always feel welcome at your house.

You have a generous spirit, which, in my mind, was exemplified when you took a lot of time and patience to make a dulcimer just to give away as a gift.  (I had kind of been hoping you would make me a new guitar for when we eventually move back to California to replace the one I currently have that has suffered a bit from the hot, humid climate here 😁 )

Your generous spirit showed as well when you opted to take care of your ailing mother at home as long as possible, rather than send her off some place where no one knows her.  You even made a little "apartment" so she could be independent but always close by.

All this shows that you value the people in your life, and since these are many of the same people that I have in my life, I consider it an honor have you as part of our family.

But there is a greater family that we belong to, and that is the family of Jesus.  To all appearances, you will get to see Jesus before I do.

Paul wrote, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I don't know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body." (Philippians 1:21-24)

We are called to worship and serve the Lord Jesus only until such time as He sees fit, and then He calls us to his side.  So while I like having you as part of my family in this world, one day we will all depart to join the greater family in heaven.

In the meantime, remember that you are loved not only by your Father in heaven but also by so many of us on earth.  And we realize that you love us, even if you can't always give voice to it.

Thank you for being a part of our family.

Ten Years

Today marks 10 years since I quit my previous job. Ten years since I stepped out in faith to begin a new venture.

If I knew then what the next ten years would bring, I might not have made that step.  It's not that the ten years have been bad, but there have been a lot of challenges along the way.

Ten years ago we left our North American lives behind ready to give up our lives, if necessary, for the sake of the gospel.

But first, I think back to another August, 27 years prior to that.

As I write this blog, I am in the town of Barrhead, Alberta. Thirty-seven years ago this month I passed though Barrhead, crossing the country on a Greyhound bus. I was traveling from where I was living near Seattle to begin a new job in Alabama. I decided to make use of the 1-week Ameripass I had purchased to visit people along the way.

I came to Barrhead to visit the woman (who is now my wife), whom I had been on a team with in Haiti for a year. I didn't know at the time that this beautiful young woman would become my wife, but my choice to visit her at that time had consequences. As I visited her family farm, I was struck by the huge fields of ripening grain. (Huge to me, small compared to the farms in Southern Alberta.) In order to get these fields laden with grain, the farmer has to make a sacrifice. He has to take grain that is perfectly good to eat and throw it away into the soil. Short-term sacrifice for long-term gain.

How many bushels of wheat we sacrificed to get the bountiful harvest?

Jesus said that unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it cannot bear fruit. (John 12:24) While Jesus was likely referring to the death he was to die, he also spoke to many who would give up their lives rather than give up Jesus.  This verse also speaks to the things in our life that we need to put to death in order to bear fruit for Jesus. Paul writes, "if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live." (Romans 8:13)

Ten years ago, when we said we were willing even to give up our lives for the sake of the gospel, I'll confess, I didn't fully understand what it means to give up one's life--what it means to die. While we have not have physically died in the past ten years, we've had to put to death a lot of things. One of those things we have had to put to death is some of our dreams. It's not that the dreams were bad, it's just that God had something better and perhaps bigger in mind. When I put to death sinful deeds, it's not so bad. But putting to death dreams can be much harder. We've had let go of several dreams in the past ten years. And while in the long run we don't regret giving those up for better things, it hasn't always been easy.

These past two weeks, as we've been in North America visiting and helping family, we're reminded of some of the other costs of following Jesus. We miss our families when we are away from them. We also miss some of our favorite haunts from when we lived in the area. True, we have gained new "family" and have new favorite places to visit, but it's not quite the same.

Putting to death these things, however, has enabled there to be the birth of new things. We've seen people who have never heard the name of Jesus receive new life in his name. We've seen churches born where before there were none. We've seen ordinary men and women who were once slaves to sin become reborn as leaders in God's family. It has been worth it to have some things die in order that other things might come to life.

As we look forward, we have no idea what the next year will bring, let alone the next ten years. But we pray God will give us grace to put to death what is needed in order to ensure a great harvest in the future.

All in the family

Recently, one of my siblings wrote a blog about how we are distantly related (so many "-th" cousin, so many times removed) to some earl. The name of this earl did not mean anything to me so all the connections were of little interest to me.

But it did get me thinking about family.

Several years ago (and I'll date myself here), I started a job in a factory and one of my new coworkers, upon hearing my name, asked me jokingly (I think), if I was any relation to Bill Russell. I know very little about sports, but I did recognize the name, so I replied, "only in skin color."  That, too, was a joke, but I probably do have more in common with Bill's skin color than I do his ability to handle a ball. I'm not very dexterous when it come to handling those round things and while I can probably dribble on a ball, I'd be hard pressed to dribble with one.

Bill Russell (not my relative)

Image from:

https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=49648716

Family, then, is more than just a name.  We, with our rather nomadic lifestyles, tend to think differently about what makes family.  In our missionary family, we are "aunt" and "uncle" to a number of missionary kids. We are commonly called aunt and uncle by Thai people.

But there is another family we belong to, and that is the family of God.  This past week, during our church meeting, we read together from Galatians 6:10: "Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone--especially to those in the family of faith."

The family of faith is awesome. I've been to many places around the world and every place I've been there have usually been some family members. I can feel "at home" even when far from home.

Dinner with Family

The significance of this family of faith is especially important in the culture here.  After our worship service last Sunday, we we're making plans on giving rides home to people from the next township over. One woman, Wari, who had come with us in the morning, said she would go home later. The reason she was staying, she said, was that she wanted to spend some time with the family.  Those were not actually her words, but that was the basic meaning of what she said.

When a person decides to follow Christ here in Thailand, it is a family matter.  To go against the religion of the ancestors is generally not well accepted, and a person who does so is often rejected by family. These days there is more tolerance than in the past, but in the region we work, the family pull is quite strong. To lose the support of family is also to lose the support of the village. Since this is the main method of socioeconomic support, people are reluctant to go against the wishes of family.  If a person does decide to follow Christ and stick with the decision it is because they have found a suitable replacement family in the family of God.

A few weeks ago we visited a man who was injured in a motorcycle a number of years ago and now has difficulty walking. He lives on the same compound with his wife's family, as is typical in Isaan, but he is currently estranged from his wife and is building a small house for himself behind the family compound. He was interested in the gospel message, and he repeated a prayer to follow Jesus, after which he let us cut the sacred strings from his wrist. Then we prayed that God would heal his legs so that he could walk normally. He received a Bible from us and was looking forward to having us visit more in the future to talk about the Bible.

Cutting Sacred String
A way of showing you're joining a new family.

But then family intervened. While they had been willing to let us come talk with this man, it was quite another thing for him to quit the family religion. It's okay to add Jesus in with the other gods on the altar, but not so okay to dispense with the other gods.  So the man's in-laws told him that if he persisted in following Jesus exclusively, he would be kicked out of the family compound. They even told him that they did not want us to pray for his healing.  Better to be crippled than Christian, they said. The man had no place place else to go. So he decided against joining the new family.

To follow Jesus is to be adopted into a new family, sometimes at the expense of the old one. Jesus said, "Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace but a sword.  For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household."  (Matthew 10:34-36 ESV)

We Christians in North America do not tend to have this kind of experience, but it is very real for people in Thailand.

 It is very important, then, that the family of God be the kind of family to which one would want to belong. If our family is beset with problems and a lack of love, one will not want to risk losing their earthly family to join this new one. Instead, we should have such a love in our new family that we become the talk of the town. Jesus said, "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35 ESV) If we fail at this, all our words spent preaching the gospel become unintelligible. (1 Corinthians 13:1)

It's not always easy. There is an old rhyme that goes something like:

To live above, with saints we love--

that's glory.

To live below, with saints we know--

that's a different story.

No wonder Jesus prayed, "And I am no longer in the world, but they are in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, keep them in your name, which you have given me, that they may be one, even as we are one." (John 17:11 ESV)

So, if you think about us here in Thailand, pray for our family of faith. Pray that we will be one as The Father and the Son are one.  Pray that we will be the kind of family people will want to be a part of.  It's not always easy. We've had a couple of occasions where people started spreading untrue rumors to try to sow division among us (this by people who call themselves Christian). So far, fortunately, those who have tried to divide us have only caused us to draw closer together. The enemy wants us fighting and bickering rather than loving and accepting one another. He wants us to be ugly, and not attractive.

My hope is that it may be said of us who follow Jesus what Paul wrote to Philemon: "because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints." (Philemon 1:5 ESV)

Sad

A picture is worth a thousand words. Read it and weep.

Adventure-us

Ten years ago this month we finished up a week in Abbotsford, British Columbia. We were participating in an event called Spring Adventure. Little did we know that the adventure would begin after that week.

Spring Adventure was a time for us to get to know an organization called MBMS International and for them to get to know us. While there, we stayed on the campus of Columbia Bible College.

Less Adventurous

There were times for meeting in groups and some times for more adventurous activities.

One adventure we had was to hang on some cliffs.

More Adventurous

At the end of that week of evaluations and such we were invited to continue to further explore working with MBMS International.

The ten years since have been quite the adventure both for us and our organization.

The organization has changed a couple times and and with each change came a new name. The first change came shortly after we joined, to MB Mission, and more recently the name has changed again to Multiply.

As for our adventures, well, the most obvious has been the moves.  First to Canada for a few months, then back to Fresno for just over a year. Then to Thailand.  Just over a year in Bangkok, where living in a mega-city was a bit of an adventure for us country folk. After conquering the concrete jungle,  we moved to a nearby province named Chonburi seven months. That Christmas we moved just north to Chachoengsao where we lived for almost a year.  After a few months in North America, it was onto the far north of the country to Chiang Rai province for a few years. Then a few more months in North America before settling into Nong Khai in northeast Thailand for the past two years.

New places. New faces. New assignments. New languages.  New teams. New opportunities to see God at work in different circumstances. Opportunities to see churches birthed and to see people come to new life in Christ. Opportunities to have our faith challenged.

It's good that God has blessed us with a love of exploring.

We're never too old for new adventures. Abram was a young 75 years old when God told him to leave his nice home in Haran and go to a place that God said He would show them. (Genesis 12:4) He didn't have his first kid until he was 100! Imagine having to wait until you're 122 years old to watch your first kid graduate college.

Sometimes, though, we'd like there to be a little less adventure. While getting to live in different places and meeting different people can be fun, it can also be a bit wearying.  As we age, we find we don't have the energy that we used to have.

One thing we are sure of though is that the changes will keep coming.  Ten years ago, we went to Spring Adventure.  Since then there have been ten years of adventure.  In the next ten years the adventures will continue. We will meet new people and make new friends.  We will experience joys and sorrows, blessings and loss. At some point during that time we will probably officially retire (whatever that is). We will probably move at least one more time.

I thought it was hard to start over in my 50's! I hope that when I get to be 75 I will still have faith like Abraham and be willing to embark on whatever new adventures God calls me to.

Flambouyant Memories

Recently, as we were driving back from Fao Rai district, where we were teaching English and guitar, we passed a beautiful tree.  The tree goes by a couple names, royal poinciana and, very appropriately, flamboyant.

Viewed up close, the flowers are especially pretty. The white "banner" petal tends to turn more yellow as the bloom ages, giving the tree an orangeish hue as in the picture above.

Occasionally, one might see and orange-flowered variety.

The seed pods are quite large (that is my size 14 foot).  The pods can be carved as handicrafts.  They can be used as musical shakers when dry.  The seeds are very hard and are used as beads.

But what struck me today was a memory of the first time I ever saw a flamboyant tree.  In 1981, we would drive past a flamboyant tree on the way to Amani-y beach near the town of Saint Marc in Haiti.

Flambouyant Tree on the Way to Amani-y Beach

This beach was a place our team would go on occasion to take a break from working in a village above the town of Saint Marc.

Amani-y Beach

The infrastructure was not well maintained, but there were always people nearby to sell a soft drink or make lunch. Casuarina trees (Australian pine) had been planted which gave a little shade.

One of the amazing things about this beach, was that it was right on the edge of the bay.  The bay is quite deep and the water at the time was very clear.  At the north side of the beach, there is an underwater cliff and the water goes from about 2 meters deep to 25 meters or more deep.  In spite of the depth, you could still see the bottom.  I loved to snorkel over the top of the bluff.  The dark blue water in the background of the first photo is where the water depth changed.

Best thing about the beach was the pretty girl

I have no idea what condition the beach is in these days.  When we returned to Haiti about 5 years after these photos were taken, the water was already getting cloudy from the soil being washed off the mountains.  But I'm glad to have memories of the time when the water was still nice.

Not only has Haiti changed a lot in the last 40 years, we have as well.  My hope is that, instead of worsening with time, we would become better.

Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.  Ecclesiastes 7:8 (ESV)

Nothing to Say

I have nothing to say

and hugs are too far away.

Then (Job's three friends) sat down with him on the ground for seven days and seven nights, yet no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his pain was very great. -- Job 2:13

I have to admire Job's friends for their behavior. At least for the first week.  It could not have been very easy for them. Job was probably not a pretty sight with all his festering sores.  He was probably groaning a lot.  And wafting up from his wounds would probably be something that, to borrow a phrase from George Carlin, "could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon".

I remember the day I got a phone call from my mom, telling me my sister's husband was killed in a freak motor vehicle accident.  Since I was the sibling that lived nearest, I dropped what I was doing to make the 5 hour drive to her house.  When I got there, I don't think I said anything, I just wrapped my arms around my sister. There wasn't much use in my voicing what we would have agreed upon: "this really sucks."  It wasn't the time for platitudes.  It was the time to just be there.

The Russell clan men when Mike was a part of it

One of the disadvantages of our current vocation is that we are far from family.  There are times when we just want to be there with them.

Now my sister, who already lost one husband, is dealing with her second husband having a rare form of cancer.  Because this is not a common cancer, it is hard for doctors to give any prognosis.  No one knows how long my brother-in-law has left this side of heaven.  Whatever it is, from our perspective, it is not enough.  And while I can FaceTime my friends and relatives, it is not the same as being there.  And even when I FaceTime them, it's not like I want to say a lot.  I want to be in their presence as much as technology allows us from across the waves.  I would like just to be with my brother-in-law even at times when he hardly has strength to acknowledge me.

Precious memories with George and Family

Last week, some of our co-workers were visiting a nearby country.  While driving one night, they struck another vehicle. One of our friends was killed.  Others ended up in a small hospital with not a great standard of care.  I just wanted to be there to comfort my friends.  Not to say anything in particular. Just to be there.

Remembering good times with some who have moved on to heaven

When returning home after a long journey, I have lots of stories to tell my wife.  But when we first get back together, the most important thing to be communicated doesn't require me to say anything. Words can wait.

There are many times when no words need to be spoken—times when words might actually disrupt important communication that needs to take place.  These are the times it is hardest to be away from family and friends. So we resort to using words, even though it is not our favorite option. And sometimes we may say something awkward because it is awkward to even say anything at all at that moment.

Meanwhile, we look forward to that day of great reunion—when being separated from loved ones will no longer be an issue.  When gestures of comfort will no longer be needed, for there will be no sorrow for which to receive it.

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death will not exist anymore—or mourning, or crying or pain, for the former things have ceased to exist. (Revelation 21:4 NET)